Fond but not in love

"Fond but not in love" these are the words my eyes went directly to which are on a Radiohead poster in his room. I had just finished having a discussion about him with his roommate.

My eyes fell upon these words and I feel like it was a message. I have always been curious of the random lyrics on those poster which could easily be applied to our relationship. He is fond of me but not in love with me, but they seemed to have left out the part about being in love with someone else.

Regardless of that, I spoke to his roommate today and he was one of a few people who know the situation who have told me to tough it out. He gave me no false hope just an objective opinion and told me that sometimes peoples minds change, for worse, or for better. He also told me that right now he needs an intimate friend and not a girlfriend, and that his last relationship failed because he was being cornered. All in all he is a pretty easy going guy and needs that within a relationship which I understand and agree with. I have been trying to let this go how it is supposed to go, but last nights drama got the best of me.

After all of the arguing while in bed we were joking around and he made the comment to me that "I need a nice boy". And that about did it for me because all I want is him. He came out to the couch to see what was wrong with me but I wouldn't talk about it. I need to keep this cool, and like his roommate said, show him I am fun and take advantage of the time I have with him. He says who knows what could happen if in a little bit of time we are still hanging out this could turn into something. He also told me that if I really want to make this relationship work that things are going to get tough like they do in all relationships but I need to hang in there.

I was really pleased that I got to talk to his roommate about this, which happens to be one of his best friends here, and I know that they support me.

In addition to that I got to talk to Jenna's grandmother today who is psychic. She had given me some advice on this before but I felt the need to call in her help when I saw the "I love you!" text message the other night. She stood by her word of what she told me last time which is, he is serious about her and things aren't going to change until next weekend when he goes there. Apparently according to her, he is supposed to propose to her and when she won't relocate it will be over. She says that after that happens things will turn because he will start looking at me differently.

I really hope that she is right about all of this. It's getting very tough for me but I know I can work through this and that I WANT to work through this. He is someone I am willing to invest the time into making things work, it is, however, very difficult when you don't have all of somebody's attention and affection.

I am stressed out almost everyday and I need to get myself to relax and learn to not let my world revolve around this. It's only going to be that much worse if things don't work out. But as I've said to a few people, I am so far invested in this that no matter what I do now I will be hurt, I have nothing to left to lose if I've never had him to begin with and I am going to stick this out.

I am fond and in love. Boston/Maine this weekend?
Maybe.